This week’s RAW Roulette starts with music and pyro.
King and Cole talk about every match being decided by the wheel and Booker’s the one spin-a-roonie-ing.
HBK out in blue jeans, sleeveless khaki shirt with forest camo on the yolk, black cap and cross pendant. He comes out to his normal pyro and hype. The fans love him. Every time the camera gets close to HBK, the angle switches to the fans. Suddenly HBK tucks his cross inside his shirt, then the camera stays close on him.
HBK says he really did try to stay away, but he just couldn’t do it. “HBK” chants. How could he possibly leave all this? Really, he gave it the old college try, but it’s tough. 20+ years of doing something, you can’t stop cold turkey. He’s said it before, but gosh darn it, he missed us (the fans). Let’s face it, no matter what anybody says, it’s each and everyone of us that made this guy from Texas The Headliner, The Showstopper, The Main Event, Mr. WM, now more importantly, Mr. HOF!
One other thing, he doesn’t want to imply he’s the RAW Guest Host, he’s just someone showing up. The problem he had with the hosts is that they were there to plug something. A movie, or a this or that. Him, he’s a whole different type of cat. The last thing he’s going to do is come out here and tell us he has a new show debuting on the Outdoor Channel, tomorrow night at 11:30pm called Shawn Michaels’ MacMillan River Adventure. He doesn’t want to insult us that way. He doesn’t want to do it. Everyone will give shameless plugs, see his Twitter on the screen up there?
Punk comes out with Otunga and McGillicutty in tow. King’s not at all happy about this. If he was HBK, he’d think twice of sharing the ring with these guys. Cole then talks about Punk leaving and planning to do so with the strap.
Punk and his boys into the ring. Punk says that HBK’s personality is so addictive that he can’t step out of the spotlight, couldn’t stay away. Does that make the fans happy? Yes, they agree. Punk says that on July 17th Punk’s leaving, his last day. HBK says that none of these people will have to hear or see Punk again, sounds like a win/win. Punk says that’s what he wants, win. That’s what HBK didn’t do when he left the WWE. He lost. He didn’t beat Taker and went out a loser. Punk will go out a winner and our WWE Champion. HBK asks if Punk’s run all this by Cena and he’ll have a problem with that. Punk says he beat Cena live two weeks ago. He has no doubt at MITB he’s leaving with Cena’s Championship. He’s leaving because of all of them. It’s sad that they’d get on their feet for HBK, but won’t get on their hands and knees to beg the future to stay!
HBK say, just so Punk knows, the reason they cheer him is that they know he’s better than Punk. “One more match” chants. Punk says he won’t lie. HBK was better than him. There’s no one back there who can hold a candle to Punk, the way it was when HBK was back there and no one could hold a candle to him. HBK saying that, is it a challenge. He knows HBK was a brash rebellious Superstar and they’re a lot alike but –
HBK tells Punk that they’re not alike. Certainly there’s similarities. They don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs – Punk pipes up with ‘Anymore!’ HBK said fair enough. At the end of the day, a guy like Punk has his style, HBK has his. Otunga eats sweet chin music!
Ding-Ding!
Cole to the podium. And I quote, “Punk, you leaving WWE is your decision. But seeing as you only have three Monday nights left, we’re going to make them count. Since you’re already in the ring, you’re going to have the first match tonight on RAW Roulette. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s spin the wheel.”
Booker goes on and on about what’s on the wheel, but he’s spinning this for Punk. It lands on ‘?’ this means Punk has a mystery opponent and has won an all expenses paid trip to hell as Punk’s facing this man. The camera pans to Kane.
In the ring McGillicutty eats sweet chin music as Punk’s jaw about hits the mat. HBK tells Punk, “Good luck with all that!”
Kane comes out to the ring. Fire from all four after Punk slides out of the ring.
– Commercial
CM Punk vs. Kane
Big upper cut to Punk. Punk sent out over the top. Punk ribs first on the barrier, then back into the ring. Punk’s head hanging out of the ring and takes another blow. Punk face first into a corner as the “CM Punk” chants start. Kane stomps Punk down in the corner. Snap mare, then low drop kick on Punk for two. Punk whipped, then clotheslined in the corner, then again. Sidewalk slam to Punk for two. Punk to the apron and manages to hang Kane up top. Punk climbs and flies back in, but Kane catches him with one hand to the throat. Big kick to Kane’s face releases Punk. Both men are down.
Punk up and kicks Kane in the head, then stomps him. More blows to Kane’s head. Kane pushes Punk off, but he comes back with a kick to Kane’s gut. Blows to Kane’s head, then kicks to Kane’s knees. Kane again grabs Punk by the throat, but Punk kicks Kane’s knee. Kane comes back with a big boot. Kane climbs, but Punk stops him up there with blows. Punk climbs up to and punches on Kane. Both standing, but Punk can’t lift Kane. Blows to Punk, then a head butt drops Punk. Kane stands on the corner, but Punk rolls from the ring.
Punk up the ramp yelling that he doesn’t care. To the stage and out through the back. The ref counts Punk out.
Winner – Kane via Count Out
Kane doesn’t look happy with this win.
Later Big Show and ADR will face off, but what type of match? Also, Cena faces R-Truth, but the Roulette wheel will decide how.
– Commercial
No Count Out Match – Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne!
Sin Cara to the ring. Evan out with a huge smile. Cole says that we crashed their servers, so we get the match we really wanted last week. Justin is still loitering in the ring when the ref calls for the bell, then doesn’t move to get out of there. Why the bell first? The ref stops Evan and Sin Cara for the Roulette wheel to be spun. Booker talks about how he and us wanted to see last week. He talks up both Evan and Sin Cara. Eve is there in tiny cut offs and a red with white polka dotted corset style top and she spins the wheel for him. The wheel stops on No Count Out. Booker says it’s going to be own like neck bones – whatever he was trying to say didn’t work.
The bell is rung again and the match starts. They lock up and then chain wrestle on the mat. Arm drag to Evan, then one to Sin Cara. Hammerlock on Sin Cara, then into a straonge snap mare followed by Sin Cara bouncing his legs off the top rope, then sending Evan flying across the ring. Sin Cara runs up the corner, bounces off the top rope, then sends Evan flying across the ring with one arm. Evan rolls out. Sin Cara slides out after him.
They stare off outside the ring, then slide into the ring together and stare off in there. They exchange kicks, Sin Cara getting the better of it. Sin Cara bounces Evan off the ropes, then rolls through as a couple guys start a, “Power Rangers” chant. Evan back with a low drop kick on Sin Cara for two. Sin Cara tries for his handspring back elbow, but Evan scouted it. Evan tries for a kick, but Sin Cara ducks it easily. Head scissors sends Evan flying, then Sin Cara flies out through the ropes in a sick suicide dive. Both need to recuperate out there. Sin Cara picks up Evan out there. Evan tries for some of Sin Cara’s fancy footwork and moves all over Sin Cara before hitting head scissors that Sin Cara barely remembers to sell. Evan gets the fans cheering, then sends Sin Cara back into the ring.
Evan back in and stops short of Sin Cara drop kick. Evan then rolls Sin Cara up in an interesting way for two. Sin Cara then rolls Evan up similarly for two. High knee to Sin Cara for two. Both slow to their feet. Evan rushes Sin Cara in a corner and eats both feet. Sin Cara then slingshots off the second rope and spins, catching Evan strangely and taking him down. Sin Cara pins for two. Kick to Evan as Sin Cara slaps his leg for noise. Evan nails a beautiful standing moonsault on Sin Cara for two. Evan to the apron, then climbs. Evan goes for air Bourne but lands on his feet when Sin Cara moves out of the way. Sin Cara hit his strange finisher, Evan hit the mat face first. Sin Cara pins for three.
Winner – Sin Cara
King talks about Evan’s bad landing. Sin Cara celebrates, then looks outside where the ref is checking on Evan who’s holding his face. Video highlights of the match. They show a lot more video clips than usual, but Evan appears to be okay as he’s smiling outside the ring.
Kofi is with Booker. Kofi gets to spin the wheel to see which type of match he’ll be having with Dolph next. Then Vickie comes in and spins the wheel. Kofi asks if this counts. It lands on Player’s Choice. Kofi is going one on one with Vickie banned from ringside, the match he voted for last week. Vickie is pissed, Booker is all laughter.
– Commercial
Cole talks about how the winner of the MITB matches always wins the Title they go after. RAW’s MITBLM will include – Kofi, Rey, Evan, Alberto, R-Truth, Swagger, Riley and Miz!
Player’s Choice Match – Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler – Vickie Barred From Ringside
Kofi out to the ring all bouncing and smiles. EXCUSE ME!! EXCUSE ME!! Refs out and stop her. They force her backstage. King again picks on her weight even thought – Dolph out to the ring by himself.
The bell and Dolph rolls from the ring. Kofi out after him and attacks on the ramp. Kofi sends Dolph back in. Dolph on Kofi with kicks, then blows to the face. Dolph pushes Kofi into the ropes and he comes out with a forearm. Dolph back out, Kofi after him. Dolph slammed to the mat, but then Dolph comes back sending Kofi into the post. The ref is at 6 when the show fades to commercial.
– Commercial
Chinlock on Kofi in the center of the ring. During the break Kofi somehow got back into the ring. Kofi struggles to his knees and elbows out. Kick to Dolph, then Kofi whips him. Kofi eats the corner when Dolph moves. Dolph’s leg drop to Kofi, but Dolph only gets two from it. Forearm to Kofi, then Dolph rides his forearm over Kofi’s face. Kofi comes back with blows. Neck breaker to Kofi for two as Cole calls Vickie a saint.
Dolph stomps Kofi, then pulls him to his feet. Kofi comes back with a couple blows and rolls Dolph up for a long two. More blows to Dolph, then kicks. Kofi then runs into a big boot. Dolph tries to throw Kofi out head first, but Kofi stops himself with that shoulders stop he has. Then, somehow Kofi comes back with TIP for three as Cole screeches about it.
Winner – Kofi
Video recap of the high points of the match.
Maryse is backstage with Booker. Maryse is in a lovely strapless pink, purple and black dress. Booker goes on and on about what’s happened so far in the show. Alberto comes in and asks why he has to face Big Show again. Maryse agrees with Alberto. Booker says he doesn’t make the matches, just spins. Booker’s about the spin then a slightly smitten Alberto asks Maryse to spin for him. Maryse talks up Alberto in a huge way, but then Alberto is pissed when he realizes he’s in a Steel Cage Match with Big Show. Maryse flees. Booker says, “Tell me you did not just spin that!” Booker’s all laughs, of course Alberto is pissed.
– Commercial
WWE Slam Of The Week – Two weeks ago Big Show attacked Henry before the bell rang, then knocked him out. Henry taken out by stretcher. 8 days ago Henry attacked Big Show and slammed him through announce.
Steel Cage Match – Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
The cage is in place as Alberto’s music starts and he comes out in a sweet yellow Lambo convertible. Big Show is all smiles, then pointedly winks through the cage at Alberto. Big Show climbs into the ring with a big smile on his face.
The bell rings and Alberto flees to climbing, but Big Show pulls him down. Clothesline to Alberto, then that big slap to Alberto’s chest. Alberto eats the side of the cage, then Big Show pushes him into the cage hard. Alberto is whipped, but Alberto moves and kicks Big Show’s knee as he does. Big Show both eats buckle and grabs his knee. Big boot almost reaches Big Show’s face. Kicks and blows from Alberto, then to Big Show’s knees and takes him down to the mat. Alberto wrenches on Big Show’s knee.
Henry starts down the ramp to the ring. Alberto still tight on Big Show’s knee. Henry around the cage, then yells at the announcers not to look at him, he’ll do what he wants to. Alberto still on Big Show’s knee, Henry all the way around the cage, then starts around the other way.
Big Show is free, then Alberto runs into a right to his chest. Big Show nails a clothesline, then goes for the chokeslam, but Alberto on Big Show with a huge DDT. Alberto pins, but Big Show throws Alberto off. Henry still pacing outside. Alberto to the door, but is climbing. Big Show stops Alberto with a blow and throws Alberto into the other side of the cage. They both climb the corner fighting each other. Big Show hits a superplex from the second ropes.
Both are down. Henry over to the door, but it’s chained shut. Henry rips the door off its hinges, all the way, then carries it into the ring! Henry attacks Big Show with a big boot. Alberto to the open door and slides out, winning the match.
Winner – Alberto Del Rio via escape through door
Big Show is wedged between the wall of the cage and the ropes. Henry rushes Big Show with the door and slams into him. Big Show is squished, then that panel of the cage breaks and Big Show rolls to the floor. Henry jumps out and keeps screaming that he isn’t playing. If he charges for air, Big Show keep his bill paid. A bunch of refs try to stop Henry. He asks what they’ll do, fine him? Henry rips the top off announce and yells he do what he want to do. “You suck!” chants. Henry addresses the fans that he sucks, but he over here, you over there! The camera on Big Show not moving and you can hear the paramedics being called in for Big Show.
– Commercial
Video recap of Henry’s destruction. During the break Big Show was able to get to his feet and walk out himself. Cole talks about the big abuse Big Show’s been taking, mostly at the hands of Henry.
WWE Divas Championship Submission Match – Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella w/ Brie Bella
Kelly out in blue, strap held high. Video of Kelly winning to face Brie, then wins over Brie in the ring to win the strap. The Bellas out in red. Booker spins the wheel, hoping for Pillow Fight, but it’s Submission!
Nikki on Kelly hard with blows, then into the corner. Nikki takes Kelly’s arm and slams her to the mat. An arm hold on Kelly as Kelly just screams and screams. Nikki keeps wrenching on Kelly’s arm and shoulder. Kelly free and comes back with forearms. Kelly locks on a decent looking Boston crab and Nikki taps out.
Winner – Kelly
Brie attacks Kelly from behind. Eve out and clears the ring of Bellas, saving Kelly. Both Eve and Kelly talk smack back at the Bellas who screech from the ramp. Video of the Bellas’ attack and Eve’s save.
– Commercial
Video from Austin announcing Andy as the Tough Enough winner. Andy then talks about how he was welcomed to the WWE by abuse, but it’s paying of dues. Yes, this is a huge opportunity. Steamboat talks up Andy as they flash to pictures of Andy, his wife and their two kids. Dusty says it’s going to be a longer road for Andy than most figured.
Backstage to Booker with Rey to find out what his match will be. It’s a Tornado Match. Booker says Rey and Riley versus Swagger and Miz, all four in the ring at one time. They throw phrases around and Rey leaves. Booker is all in shock as he turns to see DDP! DDP talks up the Best of Nitro DVD and how it’s flying off the shelves. They shoot the bull until Drew walks up and tells them that many think they’re relics and washed up. Not him, but they’re taking up his time. He gives them ten minutes to leave the arena. Drew turns around, right into sweet chin music! HBK says that will hurt! He asks someone to pick that up and dump it in the back. HBK asks to see the DVD. HBK then says he’s never seen any of it, but he’s sure it’s entertaining. Booker and DDP look shocked. HBK reminds them that he was working that day, but he’s sure it’s very exciting. He gives them thumbs up and leaves. Booker says he’ll send HBK a copy.
– Commercial
Tornado Tag Match – Miz & Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio & Alex Riley
Miz to the ring first. Swagger joins him. Riley out next. Riley on the apron taunting Miz as Rey comes out in black and yellow. The over mask to a child after pyro on the stage.
Swagger on Rey as Miz goes after Riley. Rey whipped, then slammed, but lands on his feet. Clothesline to Rey from Miz, then from Riley to Miz, then Swagger on Riley! Miz and Riley roll out as Swagger grinds Rey’s face into a buckle. Riley back first into the barrier. Rey whipped and lands hard. Swagger stomps Rey, then pulls him up. Back breaker to Rey, then he goes for his splash and is able to hit it even though Rey was quite a bit away. Swagger only gets two from the splash.
Miz kicks Riley in the face outside. Miz climbs to take Rey off Swagger’s shoulders, but Rey wiggles free and pushes Swagger into the corner where Miz falls on his family jewels and sells well. Riley then slams Swagger into Miz’s crotch. Riley send Rey into Swagger with a locks drop kick. Swagger out, Rey rides him to the floor with a seated senton.
In the ring Miz and Riley are both standing up top. Hip toss to Miz from up top! Wow! Riley only gets two from it.
– Commercial
During the break Swagger and Miz take Riley apart. Miz beats on Riley, but Riley tries to fight back. Swagger on Riley with blows from behind. Both of them on Riley, but telegraph. Swagger takes a kick, then a clothesline to Miz. Riley pins, but Swagger breaks up the count.
Rey up and flies, but Swagger catches him in a cross body. Swagger gets Rey up, then slams him on Miz’s knee. Miz only gets two on Miz. Miz stomps Rey as Swagger goes after Riley. “619” chants. A DDT to Rey, but Miz only gets two. Swagger gets elevated over the top by Riley, but then Miz kicks Riley in the face and he falls from the ring. Rey set up top, Miz climbs. Rey blocks Miz and sends him falling to the mat. Rey then nails Miz with a seated senton. Swagger grabs Rey, but Rey sends him careening into Miz. Riley pulls down the top rope for Swagger to fall to the floor.
Rey ducks Miz, then kicks him in the head for two. Swagger crawls around the ring. Rey sets Miz up for 619, but Swagger drags Rey from the ring. Swagger in and eats a spine buster from Riley, but Miz breaks up the count. Miz takes Riley down, but can’t get the three. Miz is clotheslined from the Miz by Riley, Riley rides him out. Rey into a big boot and Swagger pins, but only gets two! Swagger is pissed.
Swagger tries for the gut wrench, but Rey wiggles out and sets up for the 619. Swagger grabs Rey’s legs and sets up his ankle lock while Rey’s still in the ropes. Miz up on the apron with a front facelock on Rey! Riley pulls Miz’s feet out, then face plants him on the barrier. Swagger set up for 619, but Riley kicks Swagger in the head. Rey then connects with the 619. Riley nails his DDT, then Rey off the top gets the three over Swagger.
Winner – Rey & Riley
Rey is seriously limping, Riley over to Rey, checking on him. Riley and Rey holds their arms high in celebration.
Video promo for HBK’s new hunting show. Brief and to the point, but nothing graphic.
Backstage R-Truth is talking to himself about the conspiracy. Booker tells him to spin the damn wheel. R-Truth talks conspiracy again. It stops on Tables Match. R-Truth can dig that. Tonight, Cena’s gonna get got. For all the Little Jimmies, appears to be talking to himself, Booker’s not impressed.
– Commercial
Tables Match – R-Truth vs. John Cena
R-Truth into the ring in what looks like it might be a sorta straight jacket, but without sleeves. He’s in jeans, but then only have R-Truth on each leg, no ‘What’s up?’ on the pants anywhere.
R-Truth on Cena with kicks and blows. Has Cena down on the mat in a corner as he beats on Cena. The dueling Cena chants start immediately. R-Truth kicks at Cena over and over. Cena stumbles to another corner and gets more blows. Cena is whipped, but reverses it. R-Truth comes out of the corner into a huge fisherman’s suplex (that actually looked really good). Cena out for the table, but R-Truth out and stops him. Cena sent back in, R-Truth rolls in after him. Dueling Cena chants again, but really fill the arena. R-Truth wrenches Cena’s arms back, but Cena struggles free with a snap mare, then a nice drop kick! R-Truth up for an AA, but R-Truth free and nails a strange stunner/diamond cutter/RKO type move, but solidly different.
R-Truth out and drags a table in. He sets it up leaning in a corner. R-Truth sets up to suplex Cena through the table, but Cena reverses and suplexes R-Truth. King and Cole poke fun at Booker’s job of the night. R-Truth rushes Cena, but he pulls the top rope and R-Truth flies out. Cena out and sends R-Truth into the stairs. Cena to the ramp for a table that he slides into the ring. Cena sets it up on all four. Cena out and grabs R-Truth and sends him in.
Cena is ready for R-Truth. R-Truth to his feet and Cena gets him up for an AA. Punk runs down the ramp and flips the table Cena set up. Cena hits R-Truth with an AA, but it’s nothing but mat! Cena stares at Punk, Punk smiles. Cena out and after Punk. Cena throws Punk back into the ring. Cena tries to get Punk up for an AA, but R-Truth spears Cena through the table he earlier set up in the corner.
Winner – R-Truth
Cena sells the pain of the table. Punk rolls from the ring, as does R-Truth. R-Truth up the ramp as Cena looks forlorn. R-Truth down the side of the ramp and out. Punk leaves up the ramp.
On stage Punk sits and has a mic in hand. He tells Cena that while he lays there, hopefully as uncomfortably as possible there, he wants Cena to digest what Punk has to say. Before Punk leaves in three weeks with his strap, Punk has a lot to get off his chest. He doesn’t hate Cena, in fact he likes Cena. Likes him a lot more than most in the back. He hates this idea that Cena’s the best. Because he’s not. Punk the best. The best in the world. There’s one thing Cena’s better at than Punk is and that’s kissing VKM’s ass! Huge cheers from the crowd for this.
Cena is as good at kissing Vince’s ass as Hogan was! Hogan’s name garners some solid heat from the fans. Not as good as Dwayne. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Oops, I’m breaking the 4th wall! Punk is the best wrestler in the world. This actually gets some mixed reaction from the fans, some agree with him. He’s been the best since day one when he walked into this company and he’s been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in Punk that nobody wanted to admit.
Cena just starts to roll away from the table. That’s right, Punk’s a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else is? Brock Lesnar. He split just like Punk’s splitting! The biggest difference between him and Brock is Punk’s leaving with the WWE Championship. He’s grabbed so many of VKM’s imaginary brass rings that they’re just that, imaginary. The only thing that real is Punk. That day in and day out for six years that he’s the best on this mic, in that ring, even at commentary, nobody can touch him! The fans like this. No matter how many times he proves it, he’s not on our lovely little collector cups, not on the program, barely promoted, not in movies, not in any crappy shows on the USA Network. He’s not on the poster for WM, not in the signature produced at the start of the show.
Not on Conan O’Brien, not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter, he should be. This isn’t sour grapes, it’s what it is. That Dwayne is in the main event at WMXXVIII makes Punk sick! Cena is now watching Punk. Punk says that those people who are cheering him are as much of the problem as they’re the ones sipping out of those collector cups, buy those programs, then at 5am you shove it in his face for an autograph, then sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to get a real job! More heat for Punk here.
Punk says he’s leaving on July 17th with the WWE Championship. Maybe he’ll go defend it in NJPW. Maybe he’ll go back to ROH! Punk then turns to the camera on his right, waves and says hello to Colt Cabana. The reason he’s leaving is the fans. They’ll keep pouring money into this wheel after he’s gone. He’s just a spoke in on the wheel. It will keep turning. VKM will make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? He surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical BLEEPING yes men like John Laurinaitis who will tell VKM what he wants to hear. Punk would like to think that this company will be better after VKM’s death, but the fact of the matter is, it’s going to get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.
Punk wants to tell us a personal story about VKM. They do this whole bully campaign – Punk’s mic has been shut off. He shouts a bit, then drops the mic yelling that he can’t be silenced. He yells into the camera as RAW goes off the air.
Biggest pop
HBK
DDP
Booker
Biggest heat
Mark Henry
Alberto Del Rio
Vickie Guerrero
Miz/Swagger
Biggest mixed
Cena
Punk
Most awe-inspiring of the night –
Punk!